


Happily

by pricklybuns



Series: No matter where, we'll find each other [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Harry's POV, M/M, beware bad writing?, i wanna use Danielle bc she seems like a nice gal, i'm sorry in advance, it's a short one, poem inspired each paragraph, poem should not be taken word for word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 11:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13029747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pricklybuns/pseuds/pricklybuns
Summary: Harry and Louis broke up before Danielle comes to Louis' life. Things aren't easy for any of them but Harry is willing to help them both.





	Happily

Harry's POV

_You shouldn't have come to me._  
_Asking what's it like to be with him._  
_You shouldn't have come to me._  
_Crying about what they said to you._  
_You shouldn't have come to me._  
_Smiling brightly after I came to help you._

Danielle stands in front of me again. It seems like that had happened again. Danielle is Louis, my lovely ex and best mate,'s new girlfriend. What happened to us was not his fault, the bottom line is, Danielle is the new person in Louis' life. But sadly enough, her efforts aren't recognized by the people around him.

"Sorry I have come to you again, I know it must be annoying that I keep coming by but.." she rubs the back on her hand on her eyes, attempting to wipe the tears away, chuckling sadly. "I'm trying my best Harry but.. nothing seems to be working.. He's always so sad, they are always so angry. I tried my best to be.. your replacement in a way but.. I guess I'm not good enough. I don't know what he was like when you two dated but for me, it's just like I'm dating a cactus"

She cares so much. " _Louis isn't a cactus._ ". She laughs half heartedly, "I know. It is how it feels like though". I could pat her, or hug her. But that would be weird wouldn't it? We are barely friends and she is my ex's girlfriend. " _You aren't my replacement. You're Danielle, you are you. You don't have to fill the gaps I made, you just need to care for him. Because I can't anymore._ "

She nods. I told her this before though. "I know.. it's just that.. It's hard Harry, it really is. I don't know if I can keep going on my own.. First his friends then family then him as well and I- I don't know.. I'm trying my best Harry, I really am." She cares so much. Ever since Louis and I broke, all I ever wanted is for him to find someone supportive, someone that would always think of what's best for him like how I did. " _Are you willing to continue this risk? I can't say I can help much but I could always lend an ear, try to convince them to open up to you._ "

She smiles, sniffing, a sad chuckle comes out once again. "Sometimes I wonder how can anyone be so nice? You are incredible.. I- I don't know how to repay you..". " _The only payment I need is for both of you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted._ ". She nods, a hint of confidence flashes through her eyes "I can try my best."

_Cause then I'd get the feel._  
_Of what it's like to comfort you._  
_Cause then I'd get to know._  
_What's it like to see you cry._  
_Cause then I would realized._  
_That you were the right guy._

In a span of a week, I tried my best in lending her a hand. She does her fair share too. She does what she always does, she tries to cheer Louis up, she tries to bring him out for food, she tries to dance for him, she tries to draw for him. All things I had never done for him. I had sang to him, I had cooked for him, I had taken pictures for him, never did I do those things that she does. In which I'm glad.

I'm glad because I could tell slowly from Louis' reactions. It's a fresh wind, blowing into his life. Before, she had always tried to do things I did, fill in gaps I made in his heart. But now, she has created her own place in his heart by doing things I had never done for him. I'm glad. I'm glad he had chosen the right one. I'm glad she had came to me. I'm glad they are finally looking up.

Yet why does it hurts so much? Is this what it's like to have a one sided love? Ah, so that's why people complained so much about it. That's understandable. After being away so long, it still hurts me deeply seeing them together. He isn't mine anymore, he was unhappy and now he is not. I should let him go. I have to let him go. That way they can be happy.

Even though I know so, why does every word I'm telling to myself cuts me so deeply? As if someone just grabbed a knife and stabbed my heart, like someone lay me on a bed of nails and pushed me down, like someone ran me over and over on a empty street where no one could help me.

I have to let him go. I have to let him have a different light. I have to let him be happy. I have to set him free. I can't do that if my heart lingers. But it hurts. So much.

_You shouldn't have come to me._  
_Asking what to wear on your first date._  
_You shouldn't have come to me._  
_For opinions on what flowers to give._  
_You shouldn't have come to me._  
_Telling me how grateful you are to me._

Oh no. Louis is here. Why is he here? He looks so gorgeous, so beautiful. As he always does. He seems happier. I'm glad. But why is he here? He used to come here everyday to cry, he kind of always comes here whether to cry or not though. Danielle is not around. He came to see me? 

"Hey love. I listened to your message, I, um, tried to open up to Danielle lately. She is, um, trying very hard to make me happy, to help me move on from" he paused "us. Move on but not forget as she said" Louis smiles at the ground. "She is.. supportive and kind. I guess I didn't see that before, all I could see was us before. The day you came to me, I didn't see the effort she put out for me either, all I saw was you. But I'm determined to move on, to let someone else in, another one." That's my Louis, determined, strong, beautiful.

" _I'm happy that you are. Do you need anything?_ " He freezes in place. I shouldn't have asked, I know it was a bit uncalled for but I want to help him, there was something bothering him and I want to know. Well, want is not the right word. It takes a short while but Louis sucks in some sharp breaths. "Um.. I tried to ask her out. It's stupid because we dated for, like, what? 2 months and I never bat an eye nor did I try to ask her out but I want to now. Um.. Can you help me pick out something?"

Ahh, so that's what it is. That's good. That's great He's opening up to her. Soon he'd forget me, soon he'd move on, soon she'd replace me, soon I'd be gone. Yet why does it hurt so bad? My chest hurts, my eyes hurt. I'm not supposed to feel like this anymore, yet why? " _I'd love to_ " He smiles, a smile so bright it could light up a stormy night. Yes, smile, I love your smile, I love that you are happy. Even though your happiness hurts me so bad, I'm still so glad.

"Harry.. thank you so much.. you've always done so much for me.. I- I don't know what to say.." he sighs, an angelic sigh. Everything about him is captivating. No, I can't afford to think like this. "Thank you so much.. I'm- We are so lucky to have someone like you with us" Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. "I'm so grateful of what we used to be. I really am." Stop. No. Please. "It helped me to what I am today and I couldn't have done any of that without you. Thank you Harry, truly" No. No. Why must you be so perfect? Why does it feels so good to be a part of your heart yet why does it pains me so much? " _You're welcome_ "

__

_Cause then I'd get to see._  
_My preference showing onto you._  
_Cause then I'd get to see._  
_How cute you get when you are flustered._  
_Cause then I'd get to feel._  
_What it would be like if we were together._

__

The date went well. Louis asked me what things to buy her as well and he loved the gifts. I've been told I'm good at knowing what to give. Personally I don't think so but they can think what they want.

Louis is smiling more now, he's lot happier now, he jokes a lot more now, he sleeps a lot more now, he goes out a lot more now, he eats a lot more now, that's my boo bear. He drinks a bit less now, he smokes a bit less now, things take time and he is taking his. He is becoming the sun again, not a sad rainy storm.

That's my Louis. My Louis is brighter than everyone else in the world with his sky blue eyes and sunny smile. He is not human, he is more than just that. He means that much to me. A magnificent creature, a sweet creature. Slowly, he is becoming the sun again, he is becoming Louis again.

_But really, I am happy that you came._  
_For me._  
_For my opinions._  
_For my words._  
_Even now._  
_When I'm not around._

Yes. Louis. My Louis. My fiancee. My world. So bright he lights the way. The force he has of drawing people into him. A brave adventurer, a carefree jokester, a sassy leader. He moved away from the cloudy sadness, he moved away from the moping badness, he is slowly becoming Louis again.

Ahh it's that feeling again. Something so bittersweet is aching in my chest. I shouldn't be feeling like this. I should be happy for him. He finally got his life back together, his family is finally going to invite Danielle into their life, his friends are finally opening up to her. He is finally moving on from me.

Yet why does it hurt so much? Why does my heartache seeing him smile at someone else? Why does my chest pains seeing him giving gifts to someone else? Why does my eyes water seeing him hand in hand with someone else? I can't afford to feel this way, I'm not supposed to feel this way, not after what happened. I'm not supposed to feel this way. I thought death would have ended all this pain.

_Even now._  
_When I'm buried underground._

" _Harry_ " a voice called. Warm, familiar. I can't see anyone but I can feel their presence. Whoever they are, the one who called me, is here. I can feel their hand touching my shoulder, a woman's hand. " _You are still looking after Louis_ ". Ah, I know who this is. " _I couldn't help myself. But Jay I.. I don't know anymore. I feel lost again._ "

The moment that car hit mine, the moment I felt air leaving my lungs, the moment I saw him stuck under that seat beside mine, the moment I saw his bloody self reaching over for me, the moment I heard him cry. That's all I could recall. When I regain conscious, I was at my own funeral. I couldn't go anywhere but stay in the graveyard where they buried me. Ever since that day, I was utterly lost. I thought I could go somewhere but I just ended up being stuck. When I saw Louis grieving for years, I thought maybe I couldn't go on because he is still mourning over me, he still has me in his heart. I make it my mission to help him move on.

And now he has. " _But I haven't._ " That would make the most sense. It's not about him, it's about me, my unfinished business. " _Look like you've realized it hun._ ". My chest hurts so bad. " _What do I do Jay? I don't know what I want. I thought it would all end well if he moves on from me and I thought that's what I have always wanted but.._ " I could feel myself being in a gentle embrace, a mother's embrace. " _You just need to let go hun. He is happy now but he still has you in his heart._ "

She's right. He does. He talks about it too. A lot. Everytime he visits me. Thinking back, maybe all that I wanted is not for him to move on, not for Danielle to be with him. Of course I am undoubtedly happy that it happens as Louis has become so much more himself but for me, for what I want, I supposed all I wanted was for him to not forget me. The thought only strike fear in my heart. Jay is right, he would never forget me. Jay is right, I don't have to constantly remind him I'm here. Jay is right, I don't have to be scared of what would happen if I move into the light.

" _It's so bright, kind of intimidating, the light._ " I could feel her hair gently caress my hair. It has been so long since I felt someone touching me, I never realized how much I missed it until I receive it. " _It looks like it but it's not_ " I could feel her hug loosen then slowly pulls away. Though she takes my hand, raising it. " _If you are afraid, I can show you the way._ " Although I can't see her, I can feel her, I can touch her.

I stands up from where I sat, " _Promise me you'll be there when I reach the light?_ " I could hear her light giggles. How endearing. " _Of course hun, cross my heart._ " I let myself float upwards, aiming myself at the light above. The closer I got, the brighter it becomes. Soon I could feel Jay's hand letting go of mine. I could hear her encouragement. " _Go Harry, I'll meet you on the other side._ ". I could hear someone else's voice, calling for me. " _Hazza! Have fun okay?! You helped us all, now I want you to be happy too! Don't forget me! You'll always be in my heart! I love you!_ " It sounds like Louis. Ahh, it could me. He can see my clearest anyway. That's a nice thought. " _I would never forget you._ " 

_I get so happy when you stopped coming around._  
_When I stopped hearing your cries._  
_When I don't see your ghost linger._  
_Because then I'd know._  
_That you are finally happy._

Epilogue

Niall walks towards Harry's tombstone. How long has it been since Harry's death? A year? Or two? Hell, like he could remember. When Harry passed, it was a hard time for all of them. Mostly because of how unfair it felt. Niall swore to himself he had had days where he thought: Why didn't God take me instead of someone so incredibly incredible as Harry? They were all grieving and it was so incredibly difficult to move on from.

It didn't take long for Harry to appear in their dreams. It was weird, meeting Harry again. Nial thought if he ever see a ghost in real life, he would flip out and shit his pants but when he saw Harry both in his dreams and see the rocks, leaves along with grass around Harry's tombstone rearrange themselves in response to each of Niall's question, he doesn't exactly feel the thing he thought he would. It was comforting, in a way, knowing Harry is not gone, knowing he is still around, watching over them and talking to them.

It was a strange time when Louis suddenly brought Danielle back from a club. Niall and Liam were pretty angry, mostly at him, for trying to replace Harry with a girl he barely knows. At times Niall was blinded by his grief to realize how much Danielle really does care for Louis, how much she tries to get along with all of them yet they were all unwilling, even Louis.

She ran home once, screaming in fear when she saw Harry talking to her through the grass. Niall thought it was a strange reaction at first though every sensible human would probably do the same thing considering Harry doesn't just do it in night time. What a strange ghost. Louis claims he even see Harry, a detail which Niall doesn't know to consider it more scary or more comforting at that point. Eventually Danielle seems to get close to Harry as well. Niall is proud enough to say he was the first of the trio to start opening up to her, talking to her about Louis' preference, telling her about Harry and their history. She is nice, he should have tried earlier.

Harry appears in their dreams quite frequent but not too many times. Most of the time they would just sit and talk and laugh like as if Harry really was still alive. Though leading up to the month Louis starting to act normal again, Harry starts telling Niall more interesting things. He claims he didn't tell the other boys about it. He was thanking Niall for opening to Danielle so early, for talking to her and for supporting her. He was talking about how he wants them to consider letting her in their friends group, to let Louis move on by going with someone who loves him as like as Harry does.

Niall stares at the craved line 'Treat people with kindness - Harry Styles' on the tombstone. He really does live with that quote till the day he die, even afterwards as well. "Are you still here Harry?" Niall asked, nothing happen. "Louis told me he saw you descends last time he visited. He was so happy that you finally get to move on, to be in the place you deserves to be" Niall is just rambling at this point, he knows that and now he doesn't even have any excuse to back it up since nothing is happening.

"I don't know if you could hear me up there, or anywhere, wherever you are. But I want to tell you that you were an amazing friend, before and after death you always stuck with us, to lead us in the right way. You helped Louis move on, you helped us move on, you helped Danielle come in our friends group even though you know it might hurt you in the process. Sometimes you are such a dumbass you know that? Even after death you do things for others instead of thinking for yourself" Niall chuckles to himself. He put the bouquet of carnations down in front of the tombstone. "We love you mate, I hope you're happy, wherever you are. I'll miss you but I know you'll be watching us. Louis sends his regards." Niall gives the tombstone a light pat before walking away.

**○ end ○**


End file.
